The run-up to Christmas can prompt a jumble of emotions. For some, it’s one of the busiest and most joyous times. For others, it’s one of the loneliest and most challenging times. Yet the message of this special season is the same for all of us – one of hope as we prepare for Christ’s arrival. Here are some simple ways you can embrace the peace and promise of Advent.
Give yourself the gift of presence
Time seems to speed up as Christmas approaches as we run around searching for gifts for others, but this Advent, I invite you to pause and give yourself the gift of presence.
This is the most perfect of gifts – to be rather than do; to slow down, rest a while and be present to your feelings; to step inside your heart and hear what it has to say.
This is something I avoided doing for many years, without even realising it. I numbed my feelings, with food and alcohol, especially at this time of year, when emotions are heightened and we’re given license to indulge.
I also ran from my feelings by being permanently busy, working obsessively, exercising addictively or worrying about things I couldn’t control.
I didn’t want to look inside my heart, because there was so much pain. This was especially true at Christmas, which can remind us of the losses of our past and highlight the gaps in our present – the people who are no longer here or the partners or families we long to have in our lives.
But I learned through experience that the only way to heal my pain is to feel it, and I can only feel it if I pause for long enough to allow my feelings to surface.
So, this Advent, why not commit to creating the space to feel your feelings every day?
What might this look like?
For me, this involves a short period of contemplation in the morning and at night – a moment to be with myself, to journal, meditate, pray and listen; to sit still with my hand on my heart and investigate the feelings that are stored inside.
It might also mean noticing when we’re feeling overwhelmed and saying No to some social engagements to rest and relax. Or spotting when we’re rushing about and accepting that we’ve done enough – that we are enough.
I encourage you to make this promise to yourself every day, perhaps when you open the window of your Advent calendar every morning – to be as present as possible.
Lean into love
If we’ve been single for a long time or experienced heartbreak, it can be easy, in the weeks before Christmas, to focus on the love we don’t have or the love we’ve lost.
While doing this, however, we can miss the love that is in our lives.
So, this is an invitation to lean into love, starting with self-love.
I encourage you, this Advent, to commit to being kind to yourself, to showering yourself with gentleness and compassion, every day.
I invite you to notice if you are speaking harshly to yourself and to choose different words.
Once you have a grounding of self-love, look around you and see all the love there is. You may not have a partner in your life but I’m sure that you are loved, by friends, family members, colleagues and/or pets.
Also, open your heart to receive the love that’s there – this may be by asking for help and accepting offers of help or welcoming social invitations when they come your way.
Finally, how can you extend love to others, to friends, strangers, animals, plants and so forth?
Hold onto hope
The message of Advent is a hopeful one – things are going to get better. Light is going to come and break through the darkness. Healing will come and soothe the pain. Love will come and fill up the empty spaces in our hearts. Peace will come and calm our anxiety.
I invite you, this Advent, to practise being hopeful and faithful every day.
One way to do this is to start your day with gratitude, by writing down 10 things you are thankful for – a good night’s sleep, a beautiful sunrise, the warmth of a cup of tea, the comfort of a good book.
Then, at the other end of the day, do the same.
Gratitude helps to root us in the present moment – we focus on the here and now rather than worrying about the future or thinking about what could have been. Gratitude also helps to keep our hearts open to the good and to remain expectant.
By staying grateful and hopeful, leaning into love and enjoying the present moment this Advent, we can prepare our hearts for the good that is to come.
Read more posts about the promise of advent on the Christian Connection blog: ‘Enjoy the season of hopeful waiting this Advent‘, ‘Advent: time to reflect on the year and look forward in hope‘ and more
