On the other hand, having a renewed mind can transform your dating life.
Romans chapter 12 verse 2 says, “do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind”.
How does having a renewed mind apply to dating?
Having a renewed mind around dating means allowing God and His word to guide you in your decisions of how and who to date, instead of just following what the world says or does.
A renewed mind, first of all, recognises who you are in Christ, that you are precious, and have been bought at a price. This means that God sees you as worthy and deserving of everything good; He wants the absolute best for you, and that includes when it comes to dating. Once you recognise who you are in Christ, you will not settle for less than God’s best, and by that, I mean, you will not settle for someone that treats you contrary to how God’s word says you should be treated, i.e. with love.
Recognising who you are in Christ also means that you won’t see anyone as ‘out of your league’, so much so that you don’t consider that you might have a chance with them. It means that when you see something good coming your way, you receive it and embrace it as part of God’s good gift to you.
Allow for flexibility
A renewed mind isn’t rigid but allows for flexibility in what God might be doing in your life. A renewed mind is open to the possibility that God might want you to try something different when it comes to dating. This might include trying different forms of dating in order to meet your future partner, e.g. online dating, speed dating, etc.
It might mean stepping out of your comfort zone and attending Christian singles events that you hadn’t considered before. Or it might mean giving someone that doesn’t quite tick all your ‘boxes’ a chance, as the Holy Spirit leads you. God has a unique plan for each of our lives, and this means that the journey to meet that special person God has in store for you might not happen the way that you expect it. A renewed mind surrenders to God’s plan, even when it might not be the one that we would choose for ourselves.
A renewed mind understands that God’s timing is perfect, and doesn’t try to rush things, when it comes to dating. This means trusting God’s timing in terms of meeting a life partner, but also, when in a relationship, trusting God to guide the pace of that relationship and not rushing each stage.
Dating God’s way
A renewed mind means doing dating God’s way. The world’s view of dating can involve seeing women (and even men) as conquests, or, looking only at how a relationship might benefit you, and walking away when you feel the relationship has served its purpose. But God’s way involves treating the other person the way you would like to be treated, with love and respect, understanding that they have been created in the image of God. This means being intentional, being faithful, bringing commitment to the relationship and putting the interests of the other person first.
The remainder of the Romans 12 verse 2 goes on to say, “Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is — his good, pleasing and perfect will”. When we submit ourselves to the Lordship of Christ, we invite Him to work in us from the inside out. The Bible calls it becoming a “new creature” (2 Corinthians 5:17). As God works in us, He begins to change the way that we think.
Whereas we might have thought like the world before, we no longer think the way the world thinks; we ‘have the mind of Christ’ (1 Corinthians 2:16). Having the mind of Christ means that we can know what God’s will is for us when it comes to dating. As our mindset changes, we are able to discern what God would have us do when it comes to dating, and ultimately, who He might be leading us to pursue a future relationship with.
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